Offing yourself
While I was waiting to go to the movies, I thought long and hard about all the stuff that's happened to me. Life sucks so bad sometimes that I started wondering why people don't just go ahead and kill themselves. Lady Fortune can be pretty outrageous sometimes, and when you're swimming in a sea of troubles, why shouldn't you drown yourself? You get some peace of mind and nothing hurts anymore.
But then I thought on, and I figured that we're just too chicken to try. Who knows what comes next? Nothing? Something bad, like they told me in Sunday school? No one ever comes back to tell us about it and it's just too scary to think about, so we all live on like the cowards that we are, no matter how shitty life gets. After all, the afterlife might be shittier still.

As you may expect, I felt pretty lousy just then and didn't wanna see anybody, and who shows up but Ophelia. She was just about the last person I wanted to see. You see, I'd been also thinking about my mom and how she was living with my dad's killer, so I wasn't exactly in a Women's Lib kinda mood. Also, I wasn't sure if her dad Polonius didn't send Ophelia over to check up on me.
I just said, "Sup?"
She gave me a look and said, "Hey! Be nice! It's me!"
"Yeah, so?"
"Come on, Hamlet, I know you have the hots for me."
I sort of laughed and said, "You better stay away from me, I'm bad news."
"Right", she said, but looking kinda nervous.
"And I don't like you anyway."
"My mistake."
"Look, just get lost, ok? I'm not a good boyfriend to have. Where's your dad?"
"At home", she said, now looking really miserable.
"Well, then you better go lock the doors so nobody sees him acting like an idiot."
"What the fuck is up with you?" she shouted.
"You women!" I shouted back. "I hope you marry some bozo and never have kids. You're such a phoney!"
Then I stormed out of the house. I couldn't believe I said that to her. I just walked around, trying to calm down.

I'll let you know how the movie night went later.